how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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