Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
