the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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