just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
