sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
