Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
