Don't you send me to vm
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
