Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize