You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
