Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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