My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
