Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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