Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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