i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I checked into jail on foursquare
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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