that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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