At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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