i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Drunk is not a location!
i think im in europe. pls send help
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
