There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
