Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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