tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
