well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
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legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize