We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
