Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
