Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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