ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
