Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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