Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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