Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
