Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
