You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You can't special order awesome
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He has the fingertips of a God
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
