i permit you to call me
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
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