She is in my trunk
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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