you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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