We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
