we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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