cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize