Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
