do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
