He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
