who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
