I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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