Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
