We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
