i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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