I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
