I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
