I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
