Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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