Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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