AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
