i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
