Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
