My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
