Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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