Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
