Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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