**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
