i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
