I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
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