her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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