Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
no, he came in my armpit
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
