How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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