for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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